California state government workers who never returned to the office after COVID have found a brand-new excuse to stay home on the taxpayer dime — climate change. Years after the pandemic ended, years after the rest of America went back to work, these "faithful public servants" discovered that their commute is apparently destroying the planet. How convenient.

Because of course it is. The excuse rolodex never runs dry in Sacramento.

California government employees are now arguing that returning to the office would be bad for the environment. The reasoning — if you can call it that — is that driving to work produces carbon emissions, and therefore staying home in pajamas is basically saving the Earth. They went from "we can't come in because of a deadly virus" to "we can't come in because of the weather" without missing a single paycheck.

You have to admire the grift, honestly. Most people at least have to update their résumé when they want to avoid working. California state workers just update their excuse. COVID variant? Work from home. Wildfire smoke? Work from home. It's Tuesday and Mercury is in retrograde? Believe it or not, also work from home.

Here's the thing about this climate excuse — it only works one way. These same state employees still drive to restaurants, grocery stores, vacations, their kid's soccer games, and everywhere else a human being drives in California. But the one trip they can't possibly make is the one where they show up to the job taxpayers are funding. Funny how that works.

Meanwhile, the private sector figured this out years ago. Companies brought workers back. Small businesses never had the luxury of closing in the first place. The barista at your local coffee shop didn't get to claim that making lattes was bad for the ozone layer. But if you draw a California state paycheck, apparently the rules of reality are just suggestions.

This is what happens when government has zero accountability. In the private sector, your boss tells you to come back or you're fired. In California government, your boss is a bureaucrat who's also working from home. Nobody's checking because nobody's there to check.

The real question is what comes next. Climate change is a pretty evergreen excuse — pun intended — but eventually even that gets stale. My money's on "commuting causes anxiety" or "the office building's energy isn't aligned with my wellness goals." Give it six months.

Every day these workers stay home is another day California taxpayers are subsidizing a permanent vacation disguised as employment. The state is broke, the roads are crumbling, the homeless population is exploding, and the people who are supposed to be managing it all can't be bothered to put on pants and drive to the office.

But hey, at least they're saving the planet. One missed commute at a time.